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How to be normal

Do not pretend you are smart!
Do not do bigger gestures than other people do.
Do not laugh louder than other people do.
Do not play with objects.
Do not try to do magic tricks.
Do not pretend you can speak french if you can’t really.
Do not tell people what you really think of them.
Never say that you like conceptual art.
If you accidentally fall, do not look at other people for a long time after that.
If you accidentally fall, do not look for a banana peel.
If you accidentally fall, do not be angry at the floor or your legs or anybody who is by chance near you at the time.
If you accidentally fall, do not fall again just for fun.
If you drink something with alcohol in it, don’t drink more than one glass.
If there is a party with a cake on the table, do not throw it into someone’s face.

The safest way to be normal is just to stand and smile. If someone speaks to you, you say back something nice about weather. If someone wants to have sex with you, go for it.

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